so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Randomize
