I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
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