Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
