He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
