Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize