I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
