omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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