just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
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