This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
