$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize