Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
