i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
