I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
