Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Randomize
