Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
