just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
