You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Randomize
