Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Randomize
