Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
