I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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