So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
