wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
