So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Randomize
