fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
