Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize