I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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