I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
