the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Randomize
