i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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