Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
