piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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