Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
