Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
ok first of all what the fuck
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize