yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
