Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.

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(714): View more from California

so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?

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(703): View more from Virginia

So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win

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(802): View more from Vermont

I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.

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(303): View more from Colorado

We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.

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(719): View more from Colorado

I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.

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(636): View more from Missouri

I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.

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(785): View more from Kansas

Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process

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(201): View more from New Jersey

He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.

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