Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
