I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize