I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
You don't make any sense
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