I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Randomize