my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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