his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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