At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
