I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I wear drunk well.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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