it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
tell me about the eggs
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
