Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
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