Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
