I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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