Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Randomize