I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
