It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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