and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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