maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Randomize
