one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Randomize
