doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
