Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize
