I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
