i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
